สวนแสงอรุณ (Again and again)

See my photos here and my other posts on Suan Seang Arun can be accessed by clicking the labels below this post.  I've finally found its location on Google Map.  The mailing address of SSA is 20 หมู่ 9 ต.บางเตย อ.บ้านสร้าง จ.ปราจีนบุรี 25150.

I know that I just went out of town the previous weekend to pay audience to Ajahn Jayasaro, but Suan Seang Arun weekend retreats are not organized every month (subject to the number of participants) so I decided to go.

I have always wanting to have a house by the river.  Suan Seang Arun is like my dream coming true and I don't even have to pay or plan for it!  Not to mention healthy delicious food and, of course, the dhamma practice with the two Phra Ajahns whom I absolutely adore from Wat Pa Sukato.

Rosella flower

Phra Ajahn Note didn't give much talks during this retreat.  When he did, it was quite short, about half an hour.  Mostly he let us practice along side the monks.  It was my first retreat ever that I wasn't bored, not even once.  Previously, I often looked at the time to see how much it had passed, i.e., how much more I had to endure.  And when I changed my posture, like sitting to walking or vice versa, I did it according to my pre-specified plan.  Like I must sit for x minutes before walking for y minutes.  But such restlessness didn't arise this time; it gave me confidence that now I could live a monastic life had I wanted to and that I wouldn't bore myself to death.  This is indeed my major milestone.

Sunset

I asked Phra Ajahn Note two questions that I sort of knew what the answers were.  My intention was sincere; I wanted to check if my understanding was correct or not.  I asked how one can assess the progress in the dhamma practice.  He said, by how often awareness arises and if you have become less tempted by defilements, such as anger or jealousy; If one truly sees oneself repeatedly long enough, one's habits would change in a fundamental way though some deeply ingrained traits (e.g., my being so to-the-point) might not.  I wasn't surprised by his answer as it was consistent with what I have heard other teachers said.

My second question had to do with some of my friends who run after one dhamma teacher to another in search for the right trick or the right teaching to get them out of samsara and attain Nibhana ASAP (as soon as possible).  Ajahn Note said that deep down inside, these "runners" (my term) probably feel insecure about their practices; it was nice to go and pay respect to dhamma teachers and listen to their teaching, but it isn't that important to the practice itself.

Phra Ajahn Note answering questions

I agreed with him even before I asked.  Perhaps I was too self-reliant, but I trust my guts that such shopping around doesn't amount to much.  Once the basic teaching and how to practice is understood, one just have to do it; there is not shortcut, at least one that is actually working.

I have come to appreciate the value of Yonisomanasikàra (โยนิโสมนสิการ translated as "reasoned attention; systematic attention; analytical thinking; critical reflection; thinking in terms of specific conditionality; thinking by way of causal relations or by way of problem-solving" in the Thai-Pali dictionary of P.A. Payutto).  To me, Yonisomanasikàra is simply to observe.  How can anyone else know me better than I do?  Can I not evaluate myself if I have improved or declined?  Who else is with me 24 hours a day, besides myself?  I guess the point is to be still and be patient enough to see oneself over and over.  Perhaps yet-to-be liberated mortals like us are too fixated on the destination and don't appreciate the journey itself.