To borrow Ajahn Brahmavamso's words... In full, he also added that "Happiness is a pause between two moments of suffering." It wasn't that my life is currently full of suffering as such but it was more like I was totally taken by surprise.
Last week, I got to visit a person who was very dear to me in prison. I thought I was liberal; I thought I was open-minded. But I couldn't help stereotyping people who are in there. We were allowed to meet him for twenty minutes, only once a day per resident (my own "soft" synonym). I saw some residents doing some cleaning, some working on making sure that everything is okay during the visit. Perhaps it was the clean uniform or the short, trim haircut and shaven faces, but most residents didn't look harsh or dangerous at all. If they were outside, I wouldn't feel threatened. And I was thinking of what Ajahn Brahm said, there aren't any criminals, only people who do criminal acts...
Another surprise I had was my own food poisoning. I know I'm only a mere mortal, but I am a pretty health-freak one, and sickness was a stranger to me. After the night of tossing and turning and uncountable trips to the toilet, I was a stuffy-headed wreck in the morning. Though I wouldn't call myself a positive thinker (more like a cynical realist), I find, having a failed engine once in a while is a nice reminder of what I largely take it for granted. I used to think that if I ate healthily, did yoga, got enough sleep, did walking practices, occasionally made merits, stayed sane, my health would be fine. Of course, these conditions are necessary but not sufficient to 100% guarantee good health.
I also observed that while being sick, it was very hard to be mindful. My concentration came with a lot of effort. Even staying awake was tough. I finally understand why, unless formerly trained, very ill patients were mostly unfit to practice Vipassana; their bodily sensation is so painful that it overwhelms their awareness. This is why training is essential. Like when you are drowning, you can't really learn how to swim.
Finally, I finished two tasks that had me worried for some time. I have completed a draft of a pamphlet and an academic talk. As for the pamphlet, I just needed to prepare some texts and some graphic files. But to make the communication easier to the publisher and to the monks who need to sign off my work, I decided to do a page layout. For this, I used Scribus which is an open-source desktop publishing tool that is highly recommended on the web (I want to test if I survive without pirated software in Thailand). The only difficulty is that it doesn't crop Thai words to add a new line properly, and it doesn't accommodate the vowels that go above the line, like น้ำ; they got squashed down. The pages are still readable nonetheless so I live with it for the moment and let the publisher take care of it. I found that video tutorials are a much quicker way to learn than a written one.
Suddenly, I was thinking of a firefly whose coolness lies in its ability to glow by itself. Perhaps enlightenment is metaphorically like that; you shine from the inside, by yourself.
Last week, I got to visit a person who was very dear to me in prison. I thought I was liberal; I thought I was open-minded. But I couldn't help stereotyping people who are in there. We were allowed to meet him for twenty minutes, only once a day per resident (my own "soft" synonym). I saw some residents doing some cleaning, some working on making sure that everything is okay during the visit. Perhaps it was the clean uniform or the short, trim haircut and shaven faces, but most residents didn't look harsh or dangerous at all. If they were outside, I wouldn't feel threatened. And I was thinking of what Ajahn Brahm said, there aren't any criminals, only people who do criminal acts...
Another surprise I had was my own food poisoning. I know I'm only a mere mortal, but I am a pretty health-freak one, and sickness was a stranger to me. After the night of tossing and turning and uncountable trips to the toilet, I was a stuffy-headed wreck in the morning. Though I wouldn't call myself a positive thinker (more like a cynical realist), I find, having a failed engine once in a while is a nice reminder of what I largely take it for granted. I used to think that if I ate healthily, did yoga, got enough sleep, did walking practices, occasionally made merits, stayed sane, my health would be fine. Of course, these conditions are necessary but not sufficient to 100% guarantee good health.
I also observed that while being sick, it was very hard to be mindful. My concentration came with a lot of effort. Even staying awake was tough. I finally understand why, unless formerly trained, very ill patients were mostly unfit to practice Vipassana; their bodily sensation is so painful that it overwhelms their awareness. This is why training is essential. Like when you are drowning, you can't really learn how to swim.
Finally, I finished two tasks that had me worried for some time. I have completed a draft of a pamphlet and an academic talk. As for the pamphlet, I just needed to prepare some texts and some graphic files. But to make the communication easier to the publisher and to the monks who need to sign off my work, I decided to do a page layout. For this, I used Scribus which is an open-source desktop publishing tool that is highly recommended on the web (I want to test if I survive without pirated software in Thailand). The only difficulty is that it doesn't crop Thai words to add a new line properly, and it doesn't accommodate the vowels that go above the line, like น้ำ; they got squashed down. The pages are still readable nonetheless so I live with it for the moment and let the publisher take care of it. I found that video tutorials are a much quicker way to learn than a written one.
Suddenly, I was thinking of a firefly whose coolness lies in its ability to glow by itself. Perhaps enlightenment is metaphorically like that; you shine from the inside, by yourself.
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