สวนแสงอรุณหน้าฝน

See all the photos.  Get the map to SSA.  See my other post on SSA (with more details on our daily activities).

I don't really have anything particular to write but I kept turning to my blog site.  Perhaps I just want to read my own thoughts, my own reflections, or rather, talking to myself.

I spent my past weekend at Suan Seang Arun.  As it was my third visit there, I felt completely at home with the environ, the teachers and the time schedule.  Yet, it wasn't the same, mainly because I was different...

What was striking about this retreat was that I was comfortable with my formal practices; I wasn't tense; I didn't try to look for anything; I did it because it was time to do it, and there wasn't anything else to do anyway.  At first, I didn't reflect upon this, but Phra Ajahn Note asked us to give him our feedback so I told him.  I also said that because I had been doing walking practices everyday (morning and evening), my practices at SSA wasn't any different from what I was doing at home, only that it was longer.

My teachers having breakfast

Initially, I was going to tell him about how puzzled I was when I saw my boredom.  I was like, hmm..., why can't I be with myself, in a sense of not having any distractions like reading or doing stuff,  though I know fully well that I think highly of myself, and I can go places alone.  Yet, being alone doing things is not the same as being alone doing nothing.  Of course, I did observe my own thoughts arising and ceasing from time to time, but they were so random that watching them got tedious.  Like I was seeing arbitrarily chosen Twitter posts.

Anyhow, as always, I ran into interesting people at this SSA retreat.  By interesting, I mean, not typical.  It makes me wonder if I'm as strange as they are...

I started to enjoy taking videos.  One of the projects I'd like to do in this lifetime is to catalog what Phra Ajahn Tum knows about herbal remedies and horticulture.  He is so well rounded that I feel his knowledge should be systematically preserved for later generations.  I asked if he writes.  He said he does a short column in Abhaibhubet newsletters.  I have read one of his writing but it wasn't as fascinating as hearing him in person.  So I taped him while taking us on the garden tour, but I haven't edited it yet.

ยะหยา เมฆ และมีนา

From these video clips, I heard my voice that I dislike for it is too terse and too harsh.  The way I say and what I say clearly reflect who I think I am.  I like being clear and all, but what I obviously lacks is femininity.  No wonder I was approached by one of the girls in our retreat group.  She said that she liked my personality and asked for a duo photo.  I was like, crap!, I was attracting a completely wrong target group.... 

Well, I just want to share some words that I cherish:

• The Buddha's tips on how to stay awake: poking one's ears; reminiscing on the Three Refuges (Buddha, Dhamma and Sangkha) or the chants; recollecting that this is the day time, not night time; seeing the horizon; washing one's face; walking faster or more vigorously, or changing the arms' positions; breathing deeper and longer; once waking up, getting up immediately, no procrastination.  To see all ten items on the list, consult the Pali Canon.
• To feel and not to make any formation is awareness.  รู้สึกแล้วไม่คิดปรุงไปที่อื่นคือความรู้สึกตัว
• Once praised for his linguistic gift, a Japanese professor replied that his proficiency wasn't due to a talent, but to his perseverance, as if using a sift to bring water to fill a glass.  His attitude can't be more Japanese!
• Once we are familiar (คุ้นเคย) with something, we know how to properly deal with them.  Whatever feelings/things they may be.
• The mind should not concentrate outward or inward.  A neutral mind sees what is inside and outside.
• The ultimate truth (ธรรมะที่แท้) is one.