No. I'm not talking about death but to a dhamma practice retreat. Two friends agreed to go but they changed their minds when I confirmed them that we were going. Obviously, they weren't serious enough to put it on their calendar. Am I disappointed, surprised, upset? Not one bit because I sort of expected it to happen. In a way, it makes me feel joyous, like I've made the right decision all along to stand on my own feet. I go because I want to go, regardless of others' decision. I guess being a loner helps a lot too. I can't bear being so bloody dependent, physically, emotionally, financially, intellectually, on another person.
Perhaps it is coincidental, but I have tried once before to go with either of these friends to dhamma practice events (on separate occasions) and we failed. One friend was so hooked up with her work, and another friend did go with me, but the monk canceled his session. It's like a test. If you want to go, you must make a real effort. It has never occurred to me that just getting oneself to go to a retreat, in itself, can be a challenge to many people, and we are not even talking about getting any understanding or insights from dhamma teachings.
Ironically, a close friend just called to consult if she should go to a retreat (not the one I'm going) against her mother's consent. I was like, absolutely! Not that you would become enlightened after one week, but at least you give yourself a try to see if this skill will suit your personality and if it'd be of any help.
I love the interview I just read. Vijak Panich said something like spiritual teachers are important, but each of us must walk our own path.
Supposedly, it isn't my friends' time yet. But when would that be? Does the very fact that we can be dead at any given moment not question the purpose of our life? And how can this existence be meaningful if we don't even know what we're here for? What would give us peace and liberation?
Oh, well, I'm about to impose my point of views on others again, aren't I?
Perhaps it is coincidental, but I have tried once before to go with either of these friends to dhamma practice events (on separate occasions) and we failed. One friend was so hooked up with her work, and another friend did go with me, but the monk canceled his session. It's like a test. If you want to go, you must make a real effort. It has never occurred to me that just getting oneself to go to a retreat, in itself, can be a challenge to many people, and we are not even talking about getting any understanding or insights from dhamma teachings.
Ironically, a close friend just called to consult if she should go to a retreat (not the one I'm going) against her mother's consent. I was like, absolutely! Not that you would become enlightened after one week, but at least you give yourself a try to see if this skill will suit your personality and if it'd be of any help.
I love the interview I just read. Vijak Panich said something like spiritual teachers are important, but each of us must walk our own path.
Supposedly, it isn't my friends' time yet. But when would that be? Does the very fact that we can be dead at any given moment not question the purpose of our life? And how can this existence be meaningful if we don't even know what we're here for? What would give us peace and liberation?
Oh, well, I'm about to impose my point of views on others again, aren't I?
Comments
i know i know i wasn't really making an effort. i got lazy. And admittedly, i did chose a boy over a monk. how sinful i am ;P
i am sorry :D