Yesterday, I learned that a friend of mine has lost his younger brother in a car accident two years ago. And his parents have been grieving up to this point. Their sadness overwhelms him every time he goes home so he doesn't want to return home that much (they live in the Northeast part of Thailand, and he's in Bangkok).
He himself does not believe in rebirths. (This is the same guy who couldn't distinguish between three types of kilesa--defilements: Lobha, Dosa, Moha.) So it didn't surprise me when he said that his mom began her interest in Buddhism after the accident. I suppose it's better late than never, but practicing dhamma after a serious mishap is like learning to swim while you are being drown. Well, I can also see these glitches as wake-up calls. Without them, one would have fooled oneself that whatever we have will remain the same or always change for the better, whatever that is.
Luangpor Payutto said that without practice, there will always be conflicts between what actually is (ธรรมชาติ) and what we want. Another way to put it is that sufferings arise because we refuse to accept things as they are (Luangpor Pramote). We die because we were born. Had we not been born, death would not occur. Though sounding heartless, it is as simple as that.
Of course, we would have excuses such as, why me? why now?...
I was rather amazed that he didn't believe in reincarnation. Though I can't recall my past lives, I have run into many incidents that made me certain that I must have been here before but in another form. To me, death is just an interruption in the cycle of rebirths (samsara). As long as I can't get myself liberated, then I'm certainly bound to come back.
When my mom passed away, I wasn't that sad. Though it helped too that she didn't leave us so suddenly. So I had time to take care of her and to prepare myself for her forever departure. Her death taught me so much that I was grateful rather than sorry for it (a dead man is one of the four Devaduta, divine messengers, as Lungpor Sumedho recalled in one of his talks. The other three are an old man, a sick man and a holy man or monk).
Plus, I know that she will come back anyway. The analogy that I told her when she was about to die was this: it was like she was stuck in this old car. Now this car was almost useless so she needed to get a new one. Although it's not strictly correct in terms of the working of the Citta (consciousness) as a self does not exist, I wanted to comfort her and made she feel relaxed. I knew that being frightened of death made a dying person restless and destined for an unwholesome next stage.
Well, I myself must be mindful and careful. It's good to be compassionate and have loving kindness. True, I wish him well, but I don't want another attachment or responsibility. Compassion can easily turned into feeling possessive.
He himself does not believe in rebirths. (This is the same guy who couldn't distinguish between three types of kilesa--defilements: Lobha, Dosa, Moha.) So it didn't surprise me when he said that his mom began her interest in Buddhism after the accident. I suppose it's better late than never, but practicing dhamma after a serious mishap is like learning to swim while you are being drown. Well, I can also see these glitches as wake-up calls. Without them, one would have fooled oneself that whatever we have will remain the same or always change for the better, whatever that is.
Luangpor Payutto said that without practice, there will always be conflicts between what actually is (ธรรมชาติ) and what we want. Another way to put it is that sufferings arise because we refuse to accept things as they are (Luangpor Pramote). We die because we were born. Had we not been born, death would not occur. Though sounding heartless, it is as simple as that.
Of course, we would have excuses such as, why me? why now?...
I was rather amazed that he didn't believe in reincarnation. Though I can't recall my past lives, I have run into many incidents that made me certain that I must have been here before but in another form. To me, death is just an interruption in the cycle of rebirths (samsara). As long as I can't get myself liberated, then I'm certainly bound to come back.
When my mom passed away, I wasn't that sad. Though it helped too that she didn't leave us so suddenly. So I had time to take care of her and to prepare myself for her forever departure. Her death taught me so much that I was grateful rather than sorry for it (a dead man is one of the four Devaduta, divine messengers, as Lungpor Sumedho recalled in one of his talks. The other three are an old man, a sick man and a holy man or monk).
Plus, I know that she will come back anyway. The analogy that I told her when she was about to die was this: it was like she was stuck in this old car. Now this car was almost useless so she needed to get a new one. Although it's not strictly correct in terms of the working of the Citta (consciousness) as a self does not exist, I wanted to comfort her and made she feel relaxed. I knew that being frightened of death made a dying person restless and destined for an unwholesome next stage.
Well, I myself must be mindful and careful. It's good to be compassionate and have loving kindness. True, I wish him well, but I don't want another attachment or responsibility. Compassion can easily turned into feeling possessive.
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