Credit for the title goes to the Luangpor Sumedho's dhamma talk titiled "Resultant Kamma"
I grew up in an ethnic Chinese family whose core values are in hard works and getting rich. My parents are interested in making money and raising a family, and they are exceptionally good at it. We were never brought to Thai temples (rarely to Chinese shrines) or taught how to do Pali chants. My dad doesn't believe in reincarnation. He's essentially an atheist who is not superstitious; any dates and times are equally auspicious to him. My mom's belief was in line with most 60-something Chinese women (she's passed away): making sacrifice to ancestors and house spirits. Both of them aren't into any formal religions.
I am their odd product. When I was in the US, I enjoyed philosophy and self-help books. I essentially love reading. It was like I was searching for something. Because I went to a Catholic grade school, and church services were within reach in American colleges, I did try Christianity for a while. But it didn't stick with me. There were many questions unanswered; the dots aren't quite connected.
Even though I have found a path that I'd like to pursue, lately, I've been having some hiccups in my belief in my teacher. I talked to P'Poo, of course. And my new and unlikely consultant is a Phra Ajahn whom I met during one of my retreats. Because he's responsible for general correspondences of his monastery, and I knew him personally, I emailed him to ask if I could donate children dhamma books for novice monks and nuns who will be ordained this summer. He appended this postscript at the end of his reply:
About how uncomfortable I feel with the recent incident and the precautions that we have to take, I wanted to get perspectives from monks. So I emailed him. His reply was succinct, insightful, and encouraging. Essentially, he said, "Keep practicing if what you are doing bear results for you. Unanswered questions will eventually be answered. Don't believe in anything yet; examine it with your mindfulness and wisdom. Finally, a true refuge will be reached." I realize that I feel insecure because, in this case, I'm not capable of clearly distinguishing between what's right and what's wrong. And ambiguity is not what I'm used to (Welcome to Thailand, right?).
Considering Phra Ajahn's age, his reply is remarkable. I suppose if one doesn't waste brain power on silly news, TV shows, internet and blogging, all the out flowing energy will be diverted inward, and that's what one turns out to be.
Another general traits of respectable monks and ones that he possesses is peacefulness and thoughtfulness, on the verge of a snow-capped mountain (think Mount Fuji). No, I'm not making fun of them, but the imagery also conveys their sense of solidity and reliability, all of which I sadly lack, or rather, in the process of cultivation.
Also, they seem to have more reserved and inward kind of energy, different than what untrained people like me possess: mine tends to be outward and wandering. Perhaps, "poised" and "collectedness" are what I'd describe them.
Too bad for him then as I now have another resource to turn to when I can't quite figure something out. Well, until further notice....
I grew up in an ethnic Chinese family whose core values are in hard works and getting rich. My parents are interested in making money and raising a family, and they are exceptionally good at it. We were never brought to Thai temples (rarely to Chinese shrines) or taught how to do Pali chants. My dad doesn't believe in reincarnation. He's essentially an atheist who is not superstitious; any dates and times are equally auspicious to him. My mom's belief was in line with most 60-something Chinese women (she's passed away): making sacrifice to ancestors and house spirits. Both of them aren't into any formal religions.
I am their odd product. When I was in the US, I enjoyed philosophy and self-help books. I essentially love reading. It was like I was searching for something. Because I went to a Catholic grade school, and church services were within reach in American colleges, I did try Christianity for a while. But it didn't stick with me. There were many questions unanswered; the dots aren't quite connected.
Even though I have found a path that I'd like to pursue, lately, I've been having some hiccups in my belief in my teacher. I talked to P'Poo, of course. And my new and unlikely consultant is a Phra Ajahn whom I met during one of my retreats. Because he's responsible for general correspondences of his monastery, and I knew him personally, I emailed him to ask if I could donate children dhamma books for novice monks and nuns who will be ordained this summer. He appended this postscript at the end of his reply:
เราปฏิบัติธรรมเพื่อดูกายและใจตัวเองให้เป็นหลัก ส่วนอารมณ์ที่กระทบจากครูบาอาจารย์หรือแม้แต่คนอื่นหรือจะเป็นสิ่งใดๆ ก็ตาม ก็เป็นหน้าที่ๆ คอยรู้เท่าทันด้วยใจเป็นกลางนะ แต่ถ้าเผลอไปชอบ,ไม่ชอบ ก็คอยรู้ทันมันต่อไปI suppose there is a monks' news channel that is not open to lay people so they know sooner than we do.
About how uncomfortable I feel with the recent incident and the precautions that we have to take, I wanted to get perspectives from monks. So I emailed him. His reply was succinct, insightful, and encouraging. Essentially, he said, "Keep practicing if what you are doing bear results for you. Unanswered questions will eventually be answered. Don't believe in anything yet; examine it with your mindfulness and wisdom. Finally, a true refuge will be reached." I realize that I feel insecure because, in this case, I'm not capable of clearly distinguishing between what's right and what's wrong. And ambiguity is not what I'm used to (Welcome to Thailand, right?).
Considering Phra Ajahn's age, his reply is remarkable. I suppose if one doesn't waste brain power on silly news, TV shows, internet and blogging, all the out flowing energy will be diverted inward, and that's what one turns out to be.
Another general traits of respectable monks and ones that he possesses is peacefulness and thoughtfulness, on the verge of a snow-capped mountain (think Mount Fuji). No, I'm not making fun of them, but the imagery also conveys their sense of solidity and reliability, all of which I sadly lack, or rather, in the process of cultivation.
Also, they seem to have more reserved and inward kind of energy, different than what untrained people like me possess: mine tends to be outward and wandering. Perhaps, "poised" and "collectedness" are what I'd describe them.
Too bad for him then as I now have another resource to turn to when I can't quite figure something out. Well, until further notice....
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