I'm not supposed to waste time writing about stuff, but I feel an urge to.
People often ask what I write about when they know that I keep a blog. I said, "Stuff. I have agendas all the time." I suppose I'm so opinionated that I have something to say on just about anything.
Another response is "Who read it?" I was like, "Who cares?" I wrote journals before, and I don't even read them myself (Too dreamy for my current self), and the then writing is too silly and pointless to share. (I started a blog so I could update my whereabouts in the Spain trip last April). The point is not about writing for anyone; the entire activity is done so that I can get to talk to myself. Quiet time.
Because I was told that my mind is so darn all over the place, that it can't see inwards clearly (if at all), I have been trying to do 10-30 min walking practices in the morning (after I get up) and evening (before I go to bed), depending on how much time I have, or rather, how lazy I am. I found it helps. Not that I'd become enlightened any time soon. But I love how my mind slowly settles down as I walk. All these thoughts drift through my head. When I stop at the end of my path, I pause, and the thinking process pauses too. Then I turn, and another story continues. I don't get annoyed when my mind is not still because I know that someone like me can never be tranquil for a long time. My head is buried in too much thoughts during the day that it's impossible to clean it up within half an hour. And peacefulness is not what I aim for anyway. I just want to practice how to be an observer. To see without interfering or judging. As an outsider looking in.
When I do the walking practice, I feel like I do a housekeeping job for my head. Like letting my head to cool down. Sorting things out. Analogous to getting my PC defragment. Many times, interesting and useful ideas come up. Or just something that I forgot. And I also find that I sleep better as a result. I recommend my friend who has difficulty falling asleep to do it, but I doubt if she will. Formal practices have bad reputations as something that are reserved for intensely devout Buddhists or eggheads. I totally disagree. To me, its secondary purpose is a relaxation tool.
This is to my blog fans (I think there are at least five souls reading. May God blesses them, whoever He may be). Not sure if I'd ever get to write again until December 26 because I'm leaving for Wat Pah Sukato on this Saturday Dec 19. I'm quite looking forward to it because I'll drive alone all the way to Chaiyaphoom (longest drive in Thailand though my longest one is Boston-Chicago which is 1000 miles). Driving doesn't bother me as much as annoying people. I listen to dhamma talks when I drive long distance. It should take me not more than 6 hours to get there. P'Lek and her husband will join me on Monday, and we get back together. I could have waited for her but I don't want to change what was planned (she rescheduled after we agreed). If I'm going to go, then I go, regardless of what others are doing. Physical independence before spiritual liberation?
I haven't been to this temple before. I love the idea of doing a retreat. Like cutting myself out from the rest of the world. I still remember that the best night sleep I'd ever had in ten years was during my second night at Suan Mok Nana Chat.
Going to a retreat also gets me to practice what it's like being a hermit. Now I'm really keen in being a nun (would love to be a monk but I can't) when I'm done with working for the government (I received the government scholarship to study and thus had to work for it) and when I'm relieved from the family duty. The other day I read Luangpor Sumedho's interview. And he recalled his answer to an Englishman's question on what the shortcut to enlightenment was. And he said, getting ordained. I was like, wow!, if that is the shortcut, then I shall take it. Who knows? When I come back to this world next time, the Buddha's teaching might be gone, and I have to be stuck in this rebirth cycle for a really long time.
People often ask what I write about when they know that I keep a blog. I said, "Stuff. I have agendas all the time." I suppose I'm so opinionated that I have something to say on just about anything.
Another response is "Who read it?" I was like, "Who cares?" I wrote journals before, and I don't even read them myself (Too dreamy for my current self), and the then writing is too silly and pointless to share. (I started a blog so I could update my whereabouts in the Spain trip last April). The point is not about writing for anyone; the entire activity is done so that I can get to talk to myself. Quiet time.
Because I was told that my mind is so darn all over the place, that it can't see inwards clearly (if at all), I have been trying to do 10-30 min walking practices in the morning (after I get up) and evening (before I go to bed), depending on how much time I have, or rather, how lazy I am. I found it helps. Not that I'd become enlightened any time soon. But I love how my mind slowly settles down as I walk. All these thoughts drift through my head. When I stop at the end of my path, I pause, and the thinking process pauses too. Then I turn, and another story continues. I don't get annoyed when my mind is not still because I know that someone like me can never be tranquil for a long time. My head is buried in too much thoughts during the day that it's impossible to clean it up within half an hour. And peacefulness is not what I aim for anyway. I just want to practice how to be an observer. To see without interfering or judging. As an outsider looking in.
When I do the walking practice, I feel like I do a housekeeping job for my head. Like letting my head to cool down. Sorting things out. Analogous to getting my PC defragment. Many times, interesting and useful ideas come up. Or just something that I forgot. And I also find that I sleep better as a result. I recommend my friend who has difficulty falling asleep to do it, but I doubt if she will. Formal practices have bad reputations as something that are reserved for intensely devout Buddhists or eggheads. I totally disagree. To me, its secondary purpose is a relaxation tool.
This is to my blog fans (I think there are at least five souls reading. May God blesses them, whoever He may be). Not sure if I'd ever get to write again until December 26 because I'm leaving for Wat Pah Sukato on this Saturday Dec 19. I'm quite looking forward to it because I'll drive alone all the way to Chaiyaphoom (longest drive in Thailand though my longest one is Boston-Chicago which is 1000 miles). Driving doesn't bother me as much as annoying people. I listen to dhamma talks when I drive long distance. It should take me not more than 6 hours to get there. P'Lek and her husband will join me on Monday, and we get back together. I could have waited for her but I don't want to change what was planned (she rescheduled after we agreed). If I'm going to go, then I go, regardless of what others are doing. Physical independence before spiritual liberation?
I haven't been to this temple before. I love the idea of doing a retreat. Like cutting myself out from the rest of the world. I still remember that the best night sleep I'd ever had in ten years was during my second night at Suan Mok Nana Chat.
Going to a retreat also gets me to practice what it's like being a hermit. Now I'm really keen in being a nun (would love to be a monk but I can't) when I'm done with working for the government (I received the government scholarship to study and thus had to work for it) and when I'm relieved from the family duty. The other day I read Luangpor Sumedho's interview. And he recalled his answer to an Englishman's question on what the shortcut to enlightenment was. And he said, getting ordained. I was like, wow!, if that is the shortcut, then I shall take it. Who knows? When I come back to this world next time, the Buddha's teaching might be gone, and I have to be stuck in this rebirth cycle for a really long time.
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