I have been listening to LP Promote's dhamma talks, as MP3 recordings and in person, for a few years. But I never asked him questions because I didn't see that I got so stuck that I need him to unstick me. Perhaps my practice didn't go very far or I didn't care.
For the past few months, I felt like I wanted to consult him, but I still didn't get to ask because there were too many people wanting the same opportunity. I wasn't in a hurry; if I get to, I get to. It's not like I have a burning pain that has to be helped asap.
Anyhow, on the past Monday, I went to his dhamma talk that the Engineering Faculty of Kaset at Sriracha Campus, arranged. I got to be amazingly close to him (physically). I was waiting for him in a reception room, and he arrived 30 minutes before the talk. He came with his monk assistant, nun, a layman assistant (monks are not allowed to drive so she is his driver as well). I brought drinks to the nun. I didn't know what to talk to him personally. I'm not so good at schmoozing.
During his talk, he went over his usual way of teaching mindfulness. I've listened to him long enough that I've heard all of the jokes he said on that day. But it's still amusing nonetheless. He appeared more relaxed than at the temple and not as strict. Perhaps, he didn't want to scare all these undergraduate students.
After the talk, it was Q&A. I was the first. Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous and quite concentrated. I asked him if my mind made up the peacefulness and contentment that I was experiencing. He said it was because there was no glitches (my term), and that I have some delusion (Mo-Ha) so even if I am aware of myself, the awareness is not very sharp. I know that I shouldn't ask what I should do to get rid of this delusion cloud because he'd say, you just need to be aware of it. So I asked if I should do more walking meditation. He said, only if it's done in the right way, and asked me if I wanted to come in the front and walked. I refused and told him that, with this many people, I surely would put too much concentration on the walk (and not enough awareness).
But most importantly, he taught me how to see what's going on in my mind; he was like, can you see that you are now wanting to talk? Turned out that this is easy to spot because I feel tense in the chest. At the end, when I was about to pass a microphone to the next person, he said, now your mind is lighted, can you see? I nod, just to please him, but I didn't actually see it. Once he said so, I just noticed that my mind is clear. I suppose that's what he meant by lightened mind.
I was really stuck by his charm until now. Like any kind of pleasant feeling, I want to repeat it. I could go see him at his temple this Saturday, but I'm still debating it, partly because I didn't want to drive and get up so early. And also, I don't want to be so attached to him. He's my teacher, but he can only show me the path, but it was only I who do the job.
I began to notice that certain desires that I have probably hidden keep resurfacing in my dream. I suppose this is how unconsciousness presents itself, or it's just another form of satisfying my desire, to live it in thoughts. It's not perverse ideas though...
For the past few months, I felt like I wanted to consult him, but I still didn't get to ask because there were too many people wanting the same opportunity. I wasn't in a hurry; if I get to, I get to. It's not like I have a burning pain that has to be helped asap.
Anyhow, on the past Monday, I went to his dhamma talk that the Engineering Faculty of Kaset at Sriracha Campus, arranged. I got to be amazingly close to him (physically). I was waiting for him in a reception room, and he arrived 30 minutes before the talk. He came with his monk assistant, nun, a layman assistant (monks are not allowed to drive so she is his driver as well). I brought drinks to the nun. I didn't know what to talk to him personally. I'm not so good at schmoozing.
During his talk, he went over his usual way of teaching mindfulness. I've listened to him long enough that I've heard all of the jokes he said on that day. But it's still amusing nonetheless. He appeared more relaxed than at the temple and not as strict. Perhaps, he didn't want to scare all these undergraduate students.
After the talk, it was Q&A. I was the first. Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous and quite concentrated. I asked him if my mind made up the peacefulness and contentment that I was experiencing. He said it was because there was no glitches (my term), and that I have some delusion (Mo-Ha) so even if I am aware of myself, the awareness is not very sharp. I know that I shouldn't ask what I should do to get rid of this delusion cloud because he'd say, you just need to be aware of it. So I asked if I should do more walking meditation. He said, only if it's done in the right way, and asked me if I wanted to come in the front and walked. I refused and told him that, with this many people, I surely would put too much concentration on the walk (and not enough awareness).
But most importantly, he taught me how to see what's going on in my mind; he was like, can you see that you are now wanting to talk? Turned out that this is easy to spot because I feel tense in the chest. At the end, when I was about to pass a microphone to the next person, he said, now your mind is lighted, can you see? I nod, just to please him, but I didn't actually see it. Once he said so, I just noticed that my mind is clear. I suppose that's what he meant by lightened mind.
I was really stuck by his charm until now. Like any kind of pleasant feeling, I want to repeat it. I could go see him at his temple this Saturday, but I'm still debating it, partly because I didn't want to drive and get up so early. And also, I don't want to be so attached to him. He's my teacher, but he can only show me the path, but it was only I who do the job.
I began to notice that certain desires that I have probably hidden keep resurfacing in my dream. I suppose this is how unconsciousness presents itself, or it's just another form of satisfying my desire, to live it in thoughts. It's not perverse ideas though...
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