Finally it dawns upon me that whatever others do cannot truly please me. I just had an undergraduate student wanting to apply for a research funding for her senior project. She came in with some paper work for me to sign. And I have told her how she could "pre-process" them for me, e.g., filling in my name and the project title before printing it out. Essentially, I told her that she needed to "exceed expectation."
Being a control freak, I also specified how I wanted the proposal to look like: what to add and what to omit. She came to see me again with some of my requested unfulfilled and doing something that I didn't ask for (complying to my going-beyond-expectation instruction). I realized that I didn't want her to be proactive; I just want her to do exactly what I say (1-2-3-4 and no question asked). So, having realized that, I don't say anything anymore, I just made the changes I saw fit.
Having standards is kind of not good in some sense because it makes me angry when my standards are not met. Making the matter worse, I'm also hot-tempered (ใจร้อน). The other day I went to a relatively high-end spa, I waited longer than usual for a therapist (My rationale: if I pay more, I should not have to wait). I was not happy and showed it. I asked the front desk why it took so long and asked where I could fill out the comment form (I actually did it on the way out). As Amorn kindly told me that I was impatient the other day (I wanted my emails to be answered ASAP :-)). I suppose being aware of my problems is the beginning of the solution.
Being patient (ขันติ) is one requirement for becoming enlightened. If I'm truly serious about ending my cycle of births, I suppose I need to learn to wait.
Being a control freak, I also specified how I wanted the proposal to look like: what to add and what to omit. She came to see me again with some of my requested unfulfilled and doing something that I didn't ask for (complying to my going-beyond-expectation instruction). I realized that I didn't want her to be proactive; I just want her to do exactly what I say (1-2-3-4 and no question asked). So, having realized that, I don't say anything anymore, I just made the changes I saw fit.
Having standards is kind of not good in some sense because it makes me angry when my standards are not met. Making the matter worse, I'm also hot-tempered (ใจร้อน). The other day I went to a relatively high-end spa, I waited longer than usual for a therapist (My rationale: if I pay more, I should not have to wait). I was not happy and showed it. I asked the front desk why it took so long and asked where I could fill out the comment form (I actually did it on the way out). As Amorn kindly told me that I was impatient the other day (I wanted my emails to be answered ASAP :-)). I suppose being aware of my problems is the beginning of the solution.
Being patient (ขันติ) is one requirement for becoming enlightened. If I'm truly serious about ending my cycle of births, I suppose I need to learn to wait.
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