Writing a blog is kind of ironic. The fact that anyone can read it means that it's not private. But there are times that I don't want to be that forthright and thus choose to be oblique about what I say. This post will be one of them.
I thought it'd be nice if there was someone who understood me, so I didn't have to explain my reasoning or a lack thereof. If they had to learn about me, I could just give them my diaries and my blog's URL. Lately, I just realized that information about my past is rather useless as I'm perpetually changing (I suppose everyone is too, but that's not my concern). It kind of scares me a bit that what I believe to be my self may not exist after all. If it does, then it can't change so immediately.
I used to be really dedicated to a person. What puzzled me was how quickly I've become disenchanted after just one minor blip. Only one thing that I don't like, and I turn away. I thought I was loyal and faithful...
Initially, I refused to admit it and tried to rationalize why I'd changed. But then, I was like, oh, well, what's the point? I'm supposed to be an observer, aren't I?
Then, I started to worry about the future. Does it mean that there will be no one whom I can truly look up to, someone whom I cherish, in every possible way? Or I just have to accept the fact that loyalty is not my strong area, and even my belief is out of my control.
I thought it'd be nice if there was someone who understood me, so I didn't have to explain my reasoning or a lack thereof. If they had to learn about me, I could just give them my diaries and my blog's URL. Lately, I just realized that information about my past is rather useless as I'm perpetually changing (I suppose everyone is too, but that's not my concern). It kind of scares me a bit that what I believe to be my self may not exist after all. If it does, then it can't change so immediately.
I used to be really dedicated to a person. What puzzled me was how quickly I've become disenchanted after just one minor blip. Only one thing that I don't like, and I turn away. I thought I was loyal and faithful...
Initially, I refused to admit it and tried to rationalize why I'd changed. But then, I was like, oh, well, what's the point? I'm supposed to be an observer, aren't I?
Then, I started to worry about the future. Does it mean that there will be no one whom I can truly look up to, someone whom I cherish, in every possible way? Or I just have to accept the fact that loyalty is not my strong area, and even my belief is out of my control.
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